Buying Back My Own Soul

I’ve sold my soul to so many people, for so many things.

Primary I’ve sold my soul to work…for a lot of empty promises and anxiety.

I’ve sold my soul to people who don’t care about me, I’ve sold my soul to my addictions, I’ve sold my soul to obligations and lies, to imposter syndrome and armies of doubt.

I’ve sold my soul to the devil in my mind and the church who stole my heart. I’ve sold my soul to religion and a description of God that wasn’t entirely true.

I’ve sold my soul to self-hate, to self-destruction, to the opinions of the highest bidder.

And now I’m going to buy it back.

Buy it all back.

I’m buying my soul back.

I’m nurturing my self-worth, I’m placing value on myself, I’m rebuilding the trampled fences and putting locks back on to the doors, I’m no longer negotiating with time-thieves, I’m refusing to rescue things that aren’t my responsibility. I’m healing the damage, re-writing words, harvesting courage and teaching myself the art of bravery. I’m not creating a fortress, I’m creating an open house, filled with light and love.

I’m going to build a safe space, and then I’m going to buy my soul back and look after her, because now I understand she’s worth everything to me.

[Art by TJ Volonis]

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