Sugar + Netflix

When I first heard Brene Brown talk about numbing emotions I thought about alcoholics and drug addicts – people who, in my mind, couldn’t face reality, were addicted to escaping, who couldn’t afford to feel. I didn’t see myself as someone who numbed my emotions at all – but the idea of numbing emotions really…

Join The Choir

‘You’re the reason I sing You’re the reason why the opera is in me…’ Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own // U2   I’m a writer and from my bones through to my skin and back again I know that writing is my one song to sing. I don’t think it really matters…

Peach Stone

It look me longer than usual to get into the saddle for 2020, by early March I’d finally slid and found my rhythm…and then a week later the entire world was flipped upside down and, my just-learning-to-relax life was jolted out of the saddle. I’m still getting dragged along the unforgiving ground, my foot tangled…

Do Healthy Things Really Grow?

During my involvement at church over the years a common expression was that ‘healthy things grow’ – meaning we know what we’re doing is right or healthy if the programs we run grown in numbers and momentum builds. On one level I still believe that – any organisation, idea, business or project that’s working correctly…

The Difference Between Waiting and Wanting

I’m learning about the difference between waiting and wanting. I look at the shape of my life – Iook at what I have made room for and what I’ve denied space or capacity for. I’m realising in an effort to protect myself against the evils of hope I’ve also locked out the gifts that hope…

I’m Learning That…

I feel like I’ve been learning so much lately. In many ways, the learning makes me feel like a failure. I feel that if I’m not hitting a bullseye every time I should just pack up and go home – but I know there is growth in the learning, without learning we can’t grow and,…

Love Is Love

I’ve learnt that I’m naturally a very loving, compassionate, gentle person who cares deeply about other people and will do anything to avoid conflict. I love people and naturally rush to embrace them. I will spend hours, days, weeks agonising over any decision I have to make that I know will bring pain or hurt…

I Am A Child of Fear

In many ways, I am a child of fear. My natural impulse is to say I hate conflict. I hate upsetting or hurting people. I hate being wrong. I hate causing damage. But when I dig deeper I discover that my hate is an aggressive expression of my fear. I fear conflict. I fear unsetting…

Writing Down Your Soul

I’ve always felt I can express myself best on paper. I take time to process new information and I’ve learned that my head and my heart like to process together, which can feel very emotional and frustrating – my sweet spot is having a blank page I can let my inner world gush onto –…

Original Fear

I’ve been digging, digging so deep there is dirt in my hair and mud on my face. I’ve been digging through the soft and hard layers of myself looking for rock. I have anxiety so I asked my anxiety what I needed to do to make myself feel safe enough that my anxiety could stand…