Feel E v e r y t h i n g

When I was in my early 20’s I bought a little one-bedroom unit in a brown brick 1960’s block of flats. It was the first time I’d moved out of home; I’d designed every square inch of that place a thousand times over and finally, I had the keys. Within days of receiving those little…

Reservoirs

Wisdom, I have learnt, doesn’t arrive fully grown – it arrives as a thought, a scrap of understanding, a lesson slowly revealed – and then it’s planted, taken in and given time to find its roots – gradually, over months and years, wisdom emerges, fragile at first, finding its feet like a newborn lamb, growing…

Sugar + Netflix

When I first heard Brene Brown talk about numbing emotions I thought about alcoholics and drug addicts – people who, in my mind, couldn’t face reality, were addicted to escaping, who couldn’t afford to feel. I didn’t see myself as someone who numbed my emotions at all – but the idea of numbing emotions really…

Join The Choir

‘You’re the reason I sing You’re the reason why the opera is in me…’ Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own // U2   I’m a writer and from my bones through to my skin and back again I know that writing is my one song to sing. I don’t think it really matters…

Peach Stone

It look me longer than usual to get into the saddle for 2020, by early March I’d finally slid and found my rhythm…and then a week later the entire world was flipped upside down and, my just-learning-to-relax life was jolted out of the saddle. I’m still getting dragged along the unforgiving ground, my foot tangled…

Do Healthy Things Really Grow?

During my involvement at church over the years a common expression was that ‘healthy things grow’ – meaning we know what we’re doing is right or healthy if the programs we run grown in numbers and momentum builds. On one level I still believe that – any organisation, idea, business or project that’s working correctly…

The Difference Between Waiting and Wanting

I’m learning about the difference between waiting and wanting. I look at the shape of my life – Iook at what I have made room for and what I’ve denied space or capacity for. I’m realising in an effort to protect myself against the evils of hope I’ve also locked out the gifts that hope…

I’m Learning That…

I feel like I’ve been learning so much lately. In many ways, the learning makes me feel like a failure. I feel that if I’m not hitting a bullseye every time I should just pack up and go home – but I know there is growth in the learning, without learning we can’t grow and,…

Love Is Love

I’ve learnt that I’m naturally a very loving, compassionate, gentle person who cares deeply about other people and will do anything to avoid conflict. I love people and naturally rush to embrace them. I will spend hours, days, weeks agonising over any decision I have to make that I know will bring pain or hurt…

I Am A Child of Fear

In many ways, I am a child of fear. My natural impulse is to say I hate conflict. I hate upsetting or hurting people. I hate being wrong. I hate causing damage. But when I dig deeper I discover that my hate is an aggressive expression of my fear. I fear conflict. I fear unsetting…